Epic Fail Challenge!

 

EPIC WIN for the Epic Fail Challenge 5k held on August 23rd at Soldier Field.

I was lucky enough to be joined by my fabulous friends Daveon Mason, Jill Bajorek, Sam McMillen and James Rhine.

The jersey’s were created by myself in collaboration with Jill and our friend/coworker Geo. The symbols stand for Love Money Party, our Miley Cyrus summer anthem!

Our team name is the best. We were the “Whiskey Sluts.” hahaha

The five of us work at a bar called Whiskey Trust and are constantly joking around with each other and we just figured it’d be a fun silly name to have on the backs of our jerseys.

Side note:
On the topic of the name Whiskey Sluts, I mean, we acknowledge that the name Whiskey Sluts is stupid and embarrassing for anyone to wear, but who would you consider it more weird for? A group of guys or a group of girls? haha For example, if you were to see a group of guys with it or a group of girls, it’d be weird no matter what, but for different reasons I suppose. lol I digress.

I had never done a 5k before but I’m competitive and I’m not afraid to look like a fool so I made sure to put this team together.

James (affectionately nicknamed Lames) and Sam (just as affectionately referred to as Fat Sam) are both bred from competition based reality shows so this unofficially Wipeout-themed 5k was just up their alley.

Jill AKA Jilldo (sorry! If I love you, you get a stupid nickname haha) loves 5k’s and seems to do at least 3 a month, not counting the running she does on her free time for exercise. While I may have been the match, she was really the gasoline that got this entire team officially formed and put together.

Daveon AKA Fat Daveon AKA Fruity Booty AKA Daveyoncé AKA Davey-yawn has been a friend of mine for a few years now and he’s always up for anything. I can really count on him to just hear one of my ideas and be like “I don’t know what the hell you’re talking about, but let’s do it.”

We always have fun, so it ends up working out in the end.

If I’m being completely honest, a lot of the things in the race were actually very cheesy. For example, the first obstacle was just us running through these hanging balls (as pictured below), but they weren’t hard to walk through, they didn’t really bounce around knocking us down (which would have been scary considering the gravel surface beneath us), so that was a bit disappointing.

Look at the smiles on our faces though, we still had fun.

James and I were the most eager, it seemed like. We were always the first in line to try an obstacle and then went back to wait for the others.

This wasn’t a race though. This was a chance to do something silly and fun outside of work for the five of us.

One obstacle that came up was this pool of water with some planks and gigantic swinging balls to knock you off. We breezed right through it but James and I turned around to try and knock over Sam. We failed.

After getting through this one, I felt a bit of regret because it was hot outside and I wouldn’t have minded taking a dip in the water.

No matter, shortly after we came across a slip-n-slide. It was a 2-person side-by-side slip-n-slide.

Of course James and I leaped at the opportunity to do this. We ran, dove, slid like torpedoes until “Oh no!” I notice there was a pool at the end. I stop myself just before going head first in because that water was DARK BROWN. I was able to just walk through it but James wasn’t so lucky. Haha Gross.

The last obstacle of the course was this gigantic 100 million story slide. I’m exaggerating of course, but it was big. I went last this time and by myself. (The plight of being an odd-numbered team).

That thing was terrifying. Daveon and Jill jumped practically holding hands. James jumped, hit just before the edge of the slide so he ended up doing a huge bounce forward before even touching the downward slide surface (he’s insane) and then Sam refused to slide down with me because he’s well… rude.

Kidding of course. He was too fat for me to have enough room.

 

All in all, we had a fabulous time. One of the main obstacles we wanted to try actually wasn’t there. The photo below is the obstacle and EPF advertised it as the “Leap Frog” but it was nowhere in sight. 🙁

That was the most “Wipe Out” looking obstacle at the entire challenge and it wasn’t even there. Talk about an Epic Fail.

In the end, this race was an amazing experience. I would highly recommend it.

It created an incredible bonding moment for the five of us and it is something that people of all levels of athletic ability can go to and enjoy. There is no time limit and you even get a free beer at the end of your race!

The race was put together by Red Frog Events and I will definitely be keeping my ears open to finding out when the next one is held.